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| பிறன் இல்லத் துணை மீது மோகம் கொள்ளாமை. காமத்தால் தவறான உறவுகளில் திழைக்காமை. இல்லறத்தில் தாம்பத்திய ஒழுக்கம் முக்கியமானது. அதாவது ஓர் ஆணும், ஒரு பெண்ணும் மனம் ஒருங்கி, கருத்தொருமித்து, சபை, சமூகம், ஊர், உலகம் அறிய மணம் முடித்த பின்னரே தாம்பத்திய உறவில் ஈடுபடுவது, மற்றும் கட்டுக் கோப்பான குடும்ப வாழ்வில், காம சுகத்தை கணவன் மனைவியிடமும், மனைவி கணவனிடத்தும் மாத்திரமே பரிமாறிக் கொள்வது. |
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இதில் வாழ்வின் எந்த ஏற்றத் தாழ்விற்கும் மனம் மாறாது, சபை அறியச் செய்த திருமண ஒப்பந்தத்திற்கு; சத்தியத்திற்கு இணங்கிக் கட்டுப்பட்டு இறுதி வரையில் இன்பத்திலும், துன்பத்திலும் உறுதியுடன் நின்று இல்வாழ்க்கையை நடத்துவது. இல்லற இன்பத்தில் காமம் என்பது ஒரு பகுதியே. கணவனோ, மனைவியோ இல்லற இன்பம் துய்க்க இயலாதவராக இருப்பினும் கூட ஒருவரை ஒருவர் மதித்து, நம்பி, திருமணத்தைப் புனிதமாக நினைத்து இறுதிவரை சிற்றின்பமின்றி வாழுதலே ஒழுக்கமுடைய இல்லற வாழ்க்கை. நல் ஒழுக்க முன்னேற்றம் என்பது ஆணுறை மாட்டிக் கொண்டு பாதுகாப்போடு தப்பு செய்வது அல்ல. தவறின் யாருக்கும் தெரியாமல் கருக்கலைப்பு செய்வதுமல்ல. தீயவற்றை மனத்தாலும், எண்ணத்தாலும் எண்ணாது இருப்பதே. மாசற்ற மனத்தோடு, கறை படியாத இல்லற வாழ்வு வாழ்ந்து உய்வதே. சுதந்திர உலகில் எப்படி வேண்டுமானாலும் வாழலாம் என்பது அறிவீனம். இப்படித்தான் வாழ வேண்டும் என்று நல் நெறியில் வாழுவதே அறிவுடைமை. ஆணும், பெண்ணும் கூடி வாழ்ந்தாலும், தனித்து வாழ்ந்தாலும் கூட்டுக் குடும்பங்களாக இருந்தாலும், இல்லங்களில் மட்டுமன்று, அலுவலகங்கள், வெளியிடங்கள் என்று எல்லா இடங்களிலும் மற்றைய அங்கத்தினரோடு, மனிதர்களோடு சமமாக, சங்கோஜமின்றி, நல்ல பார்வையோடு, கீழ்த்தர எண்ணமின்றி, கல்மிஷமற்ற நல் உள்ளத்தோடு, தவறாத ஒழுக்கத்தோடு திகழ அடிப்படையில் பிறன் மனை நோக்கா ஒழுக்கம் ஒவ்வொரு தனிமனிதருக்கும் அத்தியாவசியமானது. ஆசைகளைக் கட்டுப்படுத்தி, அடக்கத்துடன், இல்லற ஒழுக்கத்துடன் வாழுவதே நற் குடிப்பிறப்பின் அடையாளம். | |
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| ஒப்புரை (Reference) | |
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| திருமந்திரம்: 201 ஆத்த மனையாள் அகத்தில் இருக்கவே காத்த மனையாளைக் காமுறுங் காளையர் காய்ச்ச பலாவின் கனியுண்ண மாட்டாமல் ஈச்சம் பழத்துக்கு இடருற்ற வாறே. ஔவையார். கொன்றை வேந்தன்: 61. பிறன் மனை புகாமை அறம் எனத் தகும் 54. நெஞ்சை ஒளித்து ஒரு வஞ்சகம் இல்லை பட்டினத்தார்: திரு ஏகம்ப மாலை: 3 கைப்பிடி நாயகன் தூங்கையிலே அவன் கையெடுத்து அப்புறந் தன்னில் அசையாமல் முன் வைத்து அயல்வளவில் ஒப்புடன் சென்று துயில்நீத்துப் பின் வந்து உறங்குவளை எப்படி நான் நம்பு வேன்? இறைவா கச்சி ஏகம்பனே! சிவவாக்கியர்: 209 அழுக்கறத் தினக்குளித்து அழுக்கறாத மாந்தரே அழுக்கிருந்த அவ்விடம் அழுக்கிலாதது எவ்விடம் அழுக்கிருந்த அவ்விடத்து அழுக்கறுக்க வல்லிரேல் அழுக்கிலாத சோதியோடு அணுகி வாழலாகுமே. பாம்பாட்டி சித்தர்: பெண்ணாசை விலக்கம்: 50 வெயில்கண்ட மஞ்சள் போன்ற மாந்தர் அழகை விரும்பியே மேல்விழுந்து மேவு மாந்தர் ஒயில்கண்டே இலவுகாத்து ஓடும் கிளிபோல் உடல்போனால் ஓடுவாரென்று ஆடுபாம்பே! சுப்பிரமணிய பாரதி: ஒழுக்கமுடைய நெஞ்சு வேணும். | |
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| In English: | |
| Not conducting adulterously with other's partner. Not attempting on wrong relations; extra marital affairs for the sexual desires. In domestic life, sexual discipline is more important. That is one man and woman on mutually understanding each other with sincere love and compassion, only after the marriage recognized by the society, getting involved in sexual life. Also in the controlled proper domestic life, indulging, exchanging and enjoying the sex only between husband and wife. In that, not changing the mind due to any low or high of the life, being faithful to the marriage made in front of the society. It is the virtue obeying sincerely the promise of marriage till the end of the life very firmly though happy or sorrow. In domestic life sex is merely a part. Though the husband or the wife is incapable of enjoying the sex, both should appreciate each other’s loyalty, faithfulness and should also keep up the sanctity of the marriage and continue to live the domestic life without the sex is the virtuous way of life. Conjugal life, the sacred relationship, must be between the husband and the wife only. It is the sexual agreement. It is the discipline which should be there at always though they live apart or together or stay away from each other in different part of the world. That is the way of life which differentiates and elevates the human beings from the animals. This is the basic of humanity. This is the basement for the human culture. Most of the birds live as one-to-one pairs in an unwritten code of ethics. They do not have adultery. May be that's why they are flying high which needs to be researched. "Andril" is a kind of bird which cannot live without its partner. It dies immediately once the partner dies, naturally. That is why it is called as "Andril" in Tamil which means 'inseparable' which cannot survive without its partner. Human beings after civilized to live in society, after changing from the periods of winning the girl through fights, making love in hidden in privacy, living one-to-one as husband and wife, recognized as the life partners through the arrangement called marriage, having defined the family limits, appreciating the importance and differences dignity and indignity, enjoying the conjugal relationship, to produce the offspring is the elevated and cultured system of domestic way of life, which we live today. In this system, the love crossing over the borders, the races, languages have been accepted many a times; but not the sex. 'Sex' only after marriage is the primary discipline for individuals. Sex before marriage is indiscipline. Similarly the greater indiscipline is the adultery after marriage. Seeking extramarital partnership with already married; indulging in sexual acts with other and improper relations and searching and embracing prostitutes, all are indiscipline only. And of course they are the sins. Here thinking of others wife itself is the ill and degradation against the arrangement of family and foundation of the society. This is what which paves ways for disgraceful life, despicable offspring and the cultural deterioration and destruction. Just for a momentary mistake affecting not only one's self life, but also the others life, both the families happiness, and those family members life, bringing disgrace to all, many a times becomes the cause for the death of many. It makes the life hell. For those living it makes the entire life miserable, instills undying pain and never ending disgrace. By thinking of the life of those affected families and members one can understand the seriousness of this indiscipline. The adultery is the most dangerous indiscipline which spoils and destroys the confidence and intimacy between the husband and wife, the well-nit structure of the family, the mutual faith of families of society and its members and the nobility of the relationships. Like the chastity which belongs to men and women, this indiscipline and disgrace also belongs to both the gender. In the olden days womanhood was considered fragile, weak, induces lust and sexual desire instantly to the male, and creates rude, frenzy, obsession, excitement and uncontrolled behavior in them. And that is the reason the matured women were made to live only in-house as inmates; made to appear behind the screens and masks. Later that was realized by the feminine as slavery and atrocity and though got liberated from it, yet it is fighting to protect itself. Today though whatever be the women advanced, what is the greatness in leveling with the men equally in indiscipline? Is it not the woman who is affected naturally? When fly comes and drinks the honey, the punishment is only for the flower. Is it not? Is there liberation for the faulted and sinned women? Will there be peace in their life for those who have put their mistakenly born to death or to the Government's cradles or orphanages and continuing their mistakes? Will their conscience keep quiet? Are they not cheaper and inferior than the prostitutes that who without the self-control and searching to fulfill their silly sexual desires. The betrayal for the married partner either husband or wife; to their own children; to their own conscience is unforgivable. That has no liberation at all. Cheating and enjoying is nothing but cheating the self. Only those who understand that the sexual carnal pleasure is only meant to produce the offspring can comprehend that they are petty happiness and will have clarity about the true happiness and the goal of life. Are the Gentlemen of today making pregnant to women just by their canny looks or Are they interested only in eating meager food and dying in the midst of the breast of the women? Is the sexual pleasure alone Life? Will the women too like only this? Is the charm of the words, civilization and culture became old stories? Advancement of good virtues does not mean to make the mistake wearing condom. Also it is not for conducting the abortion for the failed without anybody's knowledge. It is for not thinking of the ill in mind and heart for ever. It is to lead the blameless domestic Life with the pure mind. Live in whatever way you like in the free world is foolishness. This is how one should live with good virtues is the wiseness. That who thinks and believes his mother should be of pure and flawless and that who wishes his children's mother to be as well pure and flawless in chastity, will never degrade the chastity nor talk ill of women, and will not go indiscipline and seek extra martial affair or do adultery. And that which strongly believes and thinks due to her strength of chastity alone that the prestige and dignity of her lineage and family is upheld will never do adultery even in her thinking. Therefore in the advancing human race, the true advancement is to get rid of the bad evil called adultery. In the disciplined and civilized society, cultural development is not betraying the mutual faith and beliefs but respecting each other member of the society, each of the family. Hence the trait called the Faithfulness or the non-adultery is must for everyone at always at everywhere. For the Male and Female whether they live together or apart, whether live in joint family or not, wherever they are whether in home or in office or outside or anywhere with other members, coexistent to behave equally, without any inhibitions and bad ideas, with pure heart and good intentions and unfailing discipline, the non-adultery is very essential trait for each and every individual. The symbol of good lineage is to control the desires through self-control, discipline and to live domestic way of life. Therefore, to avoid the scaring adultery of disgrace and sin, Valluvar is explaining the faithfulness or the non-adultery virtues in this chapter following the Virtuousness spoken in the last chapter. | |
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